Recap
This sanatorium was filled with strangeness. He had lived through it many times in his dreams, yet each time he woke, everything was unfamiliar — the place, the people, even himself.
He should have felt urgency, but his subconscious guided him to treat today as any other day. Without struggle, he followed instinct, and instinct led him back to the secret.
If seventeen scratches meant seventeen awakenings, what had he lost each time to end up defeated like this?
Shen Ji raised his head, as if across space and time meeting his past self — a self full of pain, unwilling to surrender memory, failing again and again. Even on the brink of collapse, losing everything, even himself, he refused to give up. The scratches beneath the table were proof.
With his fingertip, Shen Ji carved the eighteenth mark. He himself drew the line under his broken memory. Everything must end today!
After breakfast, Shen Ji went to the restroom and forced himself to vomit up all the food he had just eaten.
His throat burned, his lips cracked, and the pain across his body seemed to guide him step by step toward what he must do next. Yet with no memory of the past, he could only replay his actions in his mind, trying to guess what came next.
Going to the restroom to purge was essential. If it were him, facing a self who knew nothing, he would leave behind a foolproof trace.
Shen Ji searched every corner of the restroom. At last, in the ceiling vent, he found a sheet of paper. Without hesitation, he removed the grate and crawled into the duct.
Putting the grate back to its place, he lay in the dim passage, using the faint light through the vent to unfold the paper.
It was a hand-drawn map of the sanatorium, with every marked room the past versions of himself had already explored. Only two remained unmarked:
- The attending doctor’s office.
- The director’s office.
The sanatorium took shape in his mind: the first floor was the hall, the second housed patients, the third was the operating theater. Doctors stayed on the third floor, rarely descending. Nurses guarded the first floor, rarely climbing. Patients seemed free, but invisible rules bound their every move.
Shen Ji folded the map and crawled onward, eyes adjusting to darkness, careful not to make a sound.
The narrow duct pressed against him. Each step forward felt more dangerous, as though collapse might bury him alive. His heart pounded, recalling the terror of being entombed.
With no other choice, he sped up. When the danger peaked, he leapt down into his destination, nearly collapsing from weak legs.
The oppressive sense vanished. He could only blame it on warning from the rules of this world.
The map marked this place as the orderlies’ changing room. Shen Ji came here for one thing: he opened a locker, pulled out a deep-blue uniform, and put it over his patient’s clothes.
The orderlies were large men, but the wide hem covered his striped hospital garb.
As he adjusted the uniform, the door suddenly opened. Footsteps entered, stopping behind him.
Shen Ji froze.
After a long silence, a voice spoke: “Why… why are you here?”
Turning, Shen Ji faced a towering orderly with a head missing a chunk, bloodied and expressionless. Coldly, he said: “I haven’t broken any rules.”
The orderly scratched his head, tearing off a piece of flesh, then nodded clumsily. “Y-yes… I forgot. You’re almost a d-doctor now.”
Shen Ji asked: “Do you not also want to be a doctor?”
The orderly grinned stupidly, his broken head grotesque. “I… I do. But I’m not as smart as you. If patients don’t… don’t make mistakes, I can’t… can’t eat meat.”
You can only become a doctor by eating meat? Whose meat? The patients’?
Shen Ji said: “I’ll tell you a secret. But you mustn’t tell anyone.”
“What… what secret?”
“If you are able to eat today’s attending doctor. You’ll become a doctor too.”
“R-really?!” The orderly’s face lit up, flesh nearly falling off.
Shen Ji frowned: “Don’t believe me? Then forget it.” He moved to leave.
Panicked, the orderly grabbed his arm, stammering: “I-I-I believe! I believe you!”
Shen Ji turned, eyes cold: “Prove it.”
Terrified, the orderly released him. Shen Ji’s arm throbbed.
“H-how do I prove it?”
“Take me to today’s attending doctor. You’ll see.”
“But…”
“What are you afraid of?”
“Orderlies attacking doctors… will…break the rules.”
“I’ll do it. You just have to listen to me.”
“R-really?” The orderly’s eyes gleamed.
Shen Ji nodded coldly. “Lead the way.”
Joyful, the orderly limped to the third floor, knocking on an office door. A male doctor appeared.
“What is it?”
“I… I need to see you.”
“Come in.”
Shen Ji lowered his head, smiling faintly at the deep-blue trousers beneath the white coat.
Found you.
“The third floor isn’t for you. But since we know each other, tell me — what do you want?” The doctor locked the door and turned.
The orderly grinned, pointing at Shen Ji: “I want to report him… he’s…he’s a patient!”
Shen Ji’s eyes were icy, as if expecting betrayal. He countered: “No, I wanted to report him. He eats meat in secret.”
The orderly panicked, rushing forward: “Y-you lie! I don’t! I never! I did not!”
Shen Ji backed to the desk, sneering: “Then what’s in your teeth?”
The orderly faltered, covering his mouth.
The doctor approached, glaring. Suspicion fell heavier on the orderly. “Open your mouth. Let me see.”
The orderly retreated. The doctor pressed: “I am the doctor today. You won’t obey? Let me say it one last time — open…”
The steel pen stabbed into his throat, cutting off his words. Blood gushed as he clutched his neck, staring in disbelief at the patient who had become a predator.
— Indeed, Teacher Yu’s judgment was correct.
Shen Ji stripped the doctor’s coat and put it on. To the frozen orderly, he said: “The clothes are mine. The man is yours. Do whatever you want — I won’t interfere.”
The orderly’s shattered head wept blood and tears. “Really? Whatever I do?”
This hulking man had the heart of a coward. Once he dreamed of freedom, then went mad, surviving by playing the fool. His greatest wish was to set a fire, burning this place clean, freeing the trapped souls.
Shen Ji smiled, voice firm: “This time, it’s your turn.”
___
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